Die Orange spricht....

Ich stehe in der Küche meiner Eltern und esse eine Orange. Ich steh vorm Spüler, links und rechts von mir der Küchentisch, unter mir der Teppich auf dem Parkettboden. Langsam schäle ich die Orange und lass die Schale stückenweise von der Hand fallen, ich nehme die einzelnen Teile und schäle sie mit den Zähnen. Am Fensterbrett, neben der Spülseife, sind Kakteen, die trotzig und stachelig vor sich hin wachsen, oder eben nicht. Sie haben bis jetzt überlebt. Links und rechts vom Spüler hangen Forme für Kekse, die meine Mutter liebt, aber nie isst, sie gönnt sich ja selten sowas. Mein Bruder, mein älterer Bruder, mein einziger älterer Bruder hat sich über die Sofa drapiert und fläzte da wie eine große Katze. Irgendeinen Film, den ich schon kenne, guckt er am letzten Abend, die Eltern haben sich schon zurückgezogen und nur die Geräusche eines leeren Hauses und eines die Stille überfallenden Films bleiben. Sie sehen uns morgen, und danach sind wir weg. Nie ganz sind wir da, nie ganz sind wir weg, aber trotzdem wird sich diese Konstellation für die voraussehbare Zukunft nie wieder einfinden. Einfinden, einfädeln, die Erinnerungen an eine Kette hängen, die man sich um den Hals bindet, um gebunden, angebunden zu fühlen, um mit irgendetwas oder irgendwem verbunden zu sein. Sein, ist, gewesen. War. Ich auch.

Hindsight and Forsight

It's strange to think that in about a month, I will have graduated from college. I'll be "done" (except for the part where I'm going to grad school, but whatever), will have gotten my degree in hoop-jumping, international affairs and German. I'm planning a(nother) big move, but with no expectation that this place will look anything like how I left it when/if I return. I'm pretty sure facebook will be my sole contact with a lot of people for the foreseeable future. But this is also the time when a lot of people move on, and even if I weren't moving it still wouldn't be the same. And I'm looking forward to life beyond college as I know it, though I will probably look back later and wonder why I hurried.

Things I regret:
- not having started more things sooner. The best part of my college experience for me has been my friends and activities, and many/most of my friends are from my activities. Why did I wait till now to start tango? Why didn't I do all of these other cool things on offer?
- not having been in officer in clubs / not having been here for two consecutive years. I think I would've done a good job and had a great time.
- some of my specific class choices. Philosophy of Science and Math for Econ come to mind.
- not having learned to let a little loose a little sooner. My first year at CU, I was as goody-two-shoes as they come. I'm still goody-two-shoes, except when I go barefoot, but I can also not take myself quite so seriously. Lesson for life.

Things I don't regret:
- not having lived in the dorms. That would have just made me angry, I'm pretty sure of this.
- my honor's thesis. The thing is a beast and took over my life for four months, but in the end I produced something huge that almost no one will read. But I learned a ton, and am proud of having finished it.

My favorite things:
- MUN. It's been my anchor, what most of my friends do, and has allowed me the incredible experiences of going to conferences.
- my year abroad. It was an amazing year, and a) thanks to the university people and my respective departments, it allowed me to get ahead in my studies, and b) thanks to my friends and family I had something to come back to, which I hadn't been expecting
- my job. I met and meet a ton of interesting people and get to know a lot of interesting people. Plus, it's books, what more can I say? And it's not food, even better. My coworkers and boss are great, so absolutely no complaints.

And I'm off to go pick up my new bike.

La philisophie m'ennuye

It's officially April, which means there is officially almost no time left in this semester, and thus little time remaining until I gradjimate and arrividerci.

Because Colorado has so f-ing weird weather, it snowed again yesterday. I guess it really only qualifies as weird if it snows in June (which has happened before, I assure you), but days of 60-60-60-60-55-60-55-60-28-60 degrees seems strange to me, and I grew up here.

But, as Oscar Wilde (I think) said, "Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative,” we'll move on to more interesting topics.



1) Consider the statement "The moon must be made of cheese." This is composed of the predicates "the moon" and "made of cheese", with the relationship "must" connecting them. If and only if the extension (or intension?) of 'moon-ness' corresponds with the extension (or intension?) of 'cheese-ness'--insofar that 'moon-ness' doesn't a priori automatically imply 'cheese-ness'--can we imply a necessary relationship between 'moon' and 'made of cheese'. As we are lacking congruency between the universals of 'moon-ness' and 'cheese-ness,' the statement is valid but false. And not all ravens are black, so there.

2) Hume says inductive reasoning sucks. Popper says inductive reasoning isn't necessary for science, while Salmon says that Popper uses inductive reasoning on the sly, the slick bastard. Goodman says 'grue' is just fine and way cooler than green or blue, and Quine says, you sod, your predicates have to actually apply to something real. But he started it, and I'm telling mom.

3) Defending a thesis is fun. Apparently someone else managed to jam the professor's door shut with their honor's 'tome' this morning, but that wasn't me, though mine was also a tome. My thesis was about 'post-conflict economic reintegration of former combatants in Angola and Mozambique', that giving jobs to demobilizing soldiers is really important. So I talked about that, how applicable my research would be to cases of the US and Iraq, the limits of reintegration policy--it's no panacea--and whether or not it supersedes or diminishes national government authority. Yeah, stuff like that...

4) There are turks in Germany. There are German Turks. They write books. Something about this conjunction is supposed to turn into a paper in the next three weeks, oh yay.

5) Bikes. Are. Expensive. My choices:

http://www.fujibikes.com/2006/bikes.asp?id=134#

http://www.trekbikes.com/us/en/bikes/2007/archive/1600wsd

http://fullcyclebikes.com/itemdetails.cfm?catalogId=39&id=708

Yay for money. Over and out.

Don't drive on the sidewalk.

Words of advice: Don't drive on the sidewalk.



At least, that's what the policeman told me yesterday. I'd not wanted to turn completely around, drive out from the near-middle of campus, circle campus, to drive back to the near-middle of campus in sight of where I was. The only thing stopping me from simply driving through was a "service or emergency vehicles only" sign. And of course, as I exit the forbidden pathway, what approaches from the street ahead but a polic car, who waves to me to roll down my window. I explain I'm lost and looking for the main street, where I was actually looking for the parking lot adjacent to our location. So I had to drive out to the main street and drive back in to park next to where I had been talking to him.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

Since my shoes don't fit right, my current goal is to spend the last half hour of my shift seated in my chair. It's a rolley chair, so if I am committed to my laziness, a certain measure of creativity should prevent undue energy expenditure. I might even make it; for some reason, the droves of bleary-eyed grad students has slowed to a trickle, with only the occasional student doing penance from judicial affairs by checking out "When Good People Make Tough Choices". I try not to smile, but we all know why he or she is there: written up, minor in possession, or similar. Yay for moral highhorse. I'm old enough to drink here without getting in trouble, so nyah nyah nyah.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

We were interviewed by German journalists today, on an intercultural exchange trip to the US. We talked about current issues in Germany, and US-German relations (the We Hate Bush Club) and why (some) Germans are pulling for Obama. Main comments: US is *huge*. We knew this already, but if you haven't been here before, the sheer immensity of the place can be staggering, particularly for Europeans used to, as one of today's guests put it, "a different country being two hours away". Religion is much more public here, where in Germany it is a pretty private thing. Integration of foreigners is a problem shared by both (and many other) countries, and it is difficult to determine what is "American" and "German" culture. Flag-flying on every building seems strange to them; in Germany, where nationalism is understandably severely discouraged, the practice cam be unsettling.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

There is a really creepy individual who works where I do, ostensibly in maintenance. I guess I am making judgements without knowing him, but whenever he walks by my desk he stares fixedly at me/us. I'm not going to lie, it makes me uncomfortable.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

One of my favorite things to do at work is to take a stack of DVDs, open each one to check if there is a disk inside, stack them all up, and close them by pressing them together as a stack. It makes such a satisfying snapping and popping noise, much like the popping of plastic knuckles. Which I can't stand, by the way (popping your knuckles, not plastic). I also can't stand people chewing ice, or scraping ice with their fingers.

Kurze Anmerkung: wegen frührer übereifriger Andeutungsversuche möchte ich nur vorweg sagen, dass das Leid keinerlei persönliche Bedeutung hat, war nur das Erste auf der CD und ich fand's schön.


Du warst mir mal wichtig
Genau wie dieses Lied
Wärst du eine Melodie
Wär ich ein stumpfer Beat
Wir machten kleine Skizzen
Alle ziemlich einfach
Alles, was uns wichtig war
Lag sicher im Geheimfach

Trotzdem gehen wir beide getrennt
Und Bruce spielt wieder ohne E Street Band

Weil die Zeit sich so beeilt
Und so wenig bleibt von dem, was einmal war
Weil das Licht so leicht zerbricht
Sehen wir die Dinge manchmal seltsam sonderbar

Unsere Bilder sind verschwommen
Weil wir nicht mehr zurá¼ckkommen

Was bleibt ist nur der Rauch
In den man so gern taucht
Bevor es wieder klar wird
Verschwind ich lieber auch
Denn so viele reden wichtig
Erzählen tolle Geschichten
Und uns wird langsam müde
Von versteinerten Gedichten

Und wir werden nicht verbrennen
In den Fehlern die wir kennen

Nein so wollten wir nie werden
Und so werden wir nie sein
Der Trost ist, dass sich zwei kennen
Die aus all dem lernen
Der eine bist wohl du
Der andere wär ich gern

Nur weil die Zeit sich so beeilt
Und nur wenig bleibt von dem, was einmal war
Weil das Licht so leicht zerbricht
Sehen wir die Dinge manchmal seltsam sonderbar

"Weil Die Zeit Sich So Beeilt" -- Olli Schulz und der Hund Marie