Deutschland, Deutschland!

EM Straßentheater

Germany won its last (most recent) European Championships game, and likely the last one it will win--- by all accounts, Portugal will flatten the Germans like a Panzer-attack. Ok, bad analogy. Still, they won the other day against Austria, which everyone had made out to be a big deal but mostly was two mediocre teams trying not to bore each other to tears on the pitch. Seriously, people, the game was terrible. Compared to the Czech – Turkey game of the night previous---where the Czechs held a 2 – 0 lead until the 75th minute, whereupon the Turks proceeded to score 3 goals in the next quarter hour---compared to that game, this one was about as interesting as watching nail polish dry. On a side note, if you want to make your nail-polish-drying-watching (?) more interesting, try putting the nail polish on the cat. The experience comes complete with sound effects and facial wounds, and in order to actually watch the polish dry, you have to find the cat again, which makes it into an evening-long, exciting activity which may even be followed up by a trip to the emergency room and a course of antibiotics treatment.



But, back to the point (I had one, I swear) I was trying to make: Germany won. Which means: PARTY!!! Bars and Cafes across town emptied and congregated in the middle of town to form a drinking, cheering, crazy mass. The main tram lines cross in the center of town, so groups of people sat down on the tracks and blocked the trams from continuing.

(dude with megaphone) „Give me an A!!“
(crowd) „AAAAAAA!!!“
(dude with megaphone) „Give me an U!!“
(crowd) „UUUUUUU!!!“
(dude with megaphone) „Give me an E!!“
(crowd) „EEEEEEEE!!!!“
(dude with megaphone) „Give me an exclamation point!!“
(crowd) „EXCLAMATION POINT!!!!“



Then they all jump up and start hopping around, singing songs and cheering. I know I’m a foreigner and all, but my German is pretty good--- and I still couldn’t figure out what they were trying to spell. But it doesn’t matter, the point was to yell, scream, drink, light flares, block the trams, pound on the windows of the trams when they finally do get to pass, and repeat the process. If you’re lucky you don’t live on a main street, as many people just drive around in their cars, flags, limbs and bodies hanging out the window, the sunroof, or the trunk, screaming and honking incessantly. Sometimes traffic stops completely for a kind of mass Chinese fire drill, everyone empties out of the car, runs over to other cars to pound on the windows, and then return to their own vehicle. This may continue for several hours after the game has concluded. In comparison to football riots in Boulder, though, there is no couch- and car-burning going on, you just fear for the lives of those kids riding in the open trunk.



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