Old Folks' Home

I’ve forgotten the exact story, but the apartment in which I was livign was certainly not intended for students. Aside from the general population—average age of about 75, and that with several kids to skew the math—and the general location—hoity toity villas on the hill, there are a few revealing features:

1) Most obvious: mounted bars for hoisting oneself in and out of the bathtub. Necessary for individuals with some kind of physio-muscular problem, elderly people, people with osteoperosis, tennis elbow, broken limbs, plaster casts or physical disabilities of any kind, or inherent lack of attention leading to unfortunate injuries
2) In connection with this, there is also the red button on the wall next to the toilet labelled „Notruf“ (Emergency call button). I suppose it’s there for „I’ve fallen and I can’t get up“, but given the location, the thing is only useful if you fall down and wedge yourself between the toilet and the wall, anywhere else and you are out of reach—but the likelihood that you are balancing precariously on the toilet, such that you would fall and wedge yourself in said manner, is relatively slim. The button is likely not intended to report flu, incontinence, menstural cramps or general grumpiness, and woe betide he or she who hits that button by mistake.

what will it be like when i get old
will i still hop on my bike, and ride around town
will i still want to be someone, and not just sit around
i don't want to be like other adults
cause they've already died
cool and condescending, fossilized
will i be rich will i be poor, will i still sleep on the floor
what will it be like when i get
what will i be like when i get
what will it be like when i get old
will i still kiss my girlfriend and try to grab her ass
will i still hate the cops and have no class
will all my grown up friends say they've seen it all before
they say hey act your age and i'm immature
will i do myself proud or only what's allowed
what will it be like when i get
what will i be like when i get
what will it be like when i get old
will i sit around and talk about the old days
sit around and watch t.v. i never want to go that way
never burn out not fade away
as i travel through my time will i like what i find
what will it be like when i get
what will i be like when i get
what will it be like when i get old

--When I get Old, from Descendents