The wailing and slightly wheezing imploration issued from a gaunt gentleman of indeterminable age brandishing an hungarisn tourist guide’s ID as if it were a weapon. His voice had the rough quality of an old chalkboard with all its redeeming qualities, gaunt features and some mannerisms reminiscent of a marionette, and his occasionally jerky manner added extra emphasis to his accented but enthusiastic English, marred by the occasional physical and vocal tic:
“I will show you, I will, I will……. Excuse me! EXC--------USE ME!!!” (this is conducted in a penetrating whisper as he leans in to recapture our wandering attention: mummy always told us not to talk to strangers; we pretend to ignore him.) “I will show you a tour of Budapest with in-for-may-shuns you will not find an-eeeeeee-where else in an-----y tourist guid-E! For only….. excuse me! EXCUSE MEEEEEEE!!!!" (I didn’t know it was possible to wail and whisper at the same time time, but it apparently is.) “For only two thausAND----”
“No. We’re not interested.”
“No, no nononononono!” His voice bordered on a wail and he seemed to be getting quasi hysterical by this point, and I was kind of worried he would go all crazy Edward Scissorhands on us, acting like a demonic wind-up toy on adderol. “NO! I cannot-----I cannot------ I cannot (EXCUSE ME!! EXCUUUUUUSE ME!) communicate with these creatures. With human beings I can communicate, but with these, with these prrrrrrimitive species I cannot communicate.” And he flounced off, muttering angrily. No joke.
-- Tickets please. May I see your ticket? (says the stout Hungarian metro worker)
--- (we hand them over)
--- (she examines them) This ticket is not valid.
--- (uhhhhhhh) What do you mean?
--- This ticket is not valid for your journey. From what station do you come?
---
--- When you transfer you must validate another ticket.
--- But we asked someone from the train company and he said it was valid!
--- This ticket is not valid.
--- Well, we have a book of tickets, we can give you the tickets we were supposed to have used. (angry look, angry shake of the head)
--- This ticket is not valid. You will have to pay a fine of 6,400 Florins. Per person (angry look)
--- But we don’t HAVE 6,400 Florins per person! (shrug). What do we do? (shrug) (she finds a traveler to translate for her)
--- Do you have a credit card? (of course we do, but I’m not about to tell her this.
--- no, no credit cards. At the hotel. (a lie)
--- Do you have a bank card?
--- Yes.
--- You will have to pay the fine. Two of you stay here and one will go to get the money (I feel like we are being robbed: Your money or your life!)
--- We can’t withdraw any more money from our account. You can only withdraw a certain amount each day and we have already withdrawn the maximum for today. We can’t take out any more money!
--- (shrug, angry look) Your passports!
--- At the hotel. (not a lie, but the last thing I am going to do is hand over my passport, which honestly wasn’t on me at this point anyways) (she consults briefly with the other controller, who had been stifling a smile the whole time).
--- Give me the tickets! (we hand them over, she rips them and we go on).
Whew. Welcome to Budapest. In their defense, it said we had to validate a new ticket each transfer on the back IN ENGLISH. In our defense, these were tickets out of a booklet of 10, and I had read the back of the individual ticket purchased from the machine and it said no such thing, so I assumed these would be the same.
The good experiences: When we arrived in Budapest we stumbled upon a folk festival selling overpriced handicrafts and random junk no one ever needs. WE listened to some cool music and also to the fascinatingly irritating bird calls that everyone and their grandmother seemed to be selling and which I would only give to the child of someone I hate. We had a stunning view of the parliament from the chain bridge and set off on an epic trip to find Liszt Ferenc tér, which happened to be right near our hostel. We had an excellent dinner at a gorgeous restaurant before meeting up with some contacts from Couchsurfing---who took us to pretty much the coolest bar ever. We wandered the castle district (overpriced and touristy), got swindled at lunch, tried to look for and eventually found the baths, and we went back the next night for dinner at the same place the next night before hiking up to hero’s square.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment