Well, I made it, I guess

Well, I made it, after fourteen hours of travel, a minor dispute with the ticket counter, two wonderful weeks interspersed with traumatic farewells from family, friends, friends who have become family, and loved ones: after one year of travel, I am back in the burnished gold land I have called home for 19 of my (almost) 21 years.

The only part that disturbs me about flying overseas is the sheer duration; the concept of nine hours sitting a chair is not an appealing prospect. I like airports; despite the level of average weariness being collectively double that of the normal population, an airport provides an interesting cross-section of people from all over the world, speaking all manner of languages, and going to or returning from all manner of destinations. I read flights for Prague and Rio, for Hong Kong and Dubai, and I wish for a moment I were going there.

Being back is not necessarily the same as being home; home is where I feel most comfortable, and to some extent, the version of the house in which I grew up will always be home, but I don't live here anymore. The apartments and rooms I have inhabited and will inhabit have been and are also home, and that reason I found the gradual dissolution of my shared flat to be rather traumatic. Here, pieces of my childhood are jumbled and strewn about, and each unconscious rearrangement seems starkly portrayed against the static picture in my head. Larger changes (newer and wider roads, a new shopping center) mark the inevitable development of my formerly secluded little area. The city is coming.

The last couple of weeks have been rather traumatic. Wonderful at the same time, they have been filled with all the things I love to do in Freiburg: dinners with friends; running in the woods; bike tours and hiking; picknicking on the grass next to the river; dancing and partying; eating gelato; meeting friends for coffee, ice cream, or lunch; enjoying live music and sports, festivals and events.... but in these last few weeks I have had to say goodbye to a lot of people, and that's hard. I know your true friends never leave you, and even a lot of your very good acquaintances can hang around if you give it effort. Yet I am aware that my life cannot continue as it has, and that makes me sad.

The last weekend went by in a blur. My sister came down from Berlin and helped me out by driving my possessions and former possessions around FR to their new homes, by keeping me company and helping me with the party. I'm not the world's biggest party person, and considering the level of stress I had about getting out of town, the last thing I really wanted to do was plan a party, but thankfully my roommate and my guests stepped up and allowed us to have a wicked evening without too extensive a cleanup. I am glad so many people came to say goodbye, and I missed several of my good friends who were out of town or couldn't make it. I didn't know I knew so many people; I guess I qualify as pretty well integrated.

After an 8-hour drive on too little sleep, three people, lots of luggage, and a small car we arrived in Berlin. This small hiatus from life, this little purgatory allowed to regain some of my sanity and spend some quality time with Sister and Boyfriend and my other family. We spent one day in town on foot, one on bikes, saw the new Harry Potter film and the family's new place, went rowing, ate breakfast in the garden and running in the woods. It was exactly what I needed.

We intended to drop Boyfriend off at the station for the earlier of the two possible trains, but our hug goodbye was a bit too lingering and he missed the train.

It looks like spring and
It feels like sunny weather
But it's a cold day in July

Your bags are packed, not a word is spoken
I guess we said everything with good-bye
Time moves so slow and promises get broken
On this cold day in July

Sun's comin' up comin' up down on Main Street
Children shout as they're running out to play
Head in my hands
Here I am
Standing in my bare feet
Watching you drive away
Watching you drive away
- Cold Day in July - Dixie Chicks

So, here I am in a minor deja vu. I'll have some challenges and some hard times to get through but I will make it by, and if I am lucky I will be just as sad about leaving Boulder next spring as I am about leaving Freiburg. The new chapter begins, I suppose..... But despite the fact that it's 11:39 AM in Germany, the local time is 3:19, so I suppose I should get some sleep....