Snippets

:: Finals week = hell week. Everyone and their grandmother basically decides they want something from you. Every cafe is packed to the proverbial gills, the library is a madhouse, and every bit of dry floorspace on campus seems to contain someone and their books as everyone desperately tries to do the work they procrastinated on all semester, review lots of useless things, and write the perfect ten page paper in 12 hours.

Practical wisdom is only to be learned in the school of experience. Precepts and instruction are useful so far as they go, but, without the discipline of real life, they remain of the nature of theory only.
Samuel Smiles

:: Busses don't run on time in the winter. Not only is it cold and snowy, you're stuck outside for forty five minutes waiting. Maybe that's just me.

There is one piece of advice, in a life of study, which I think no one will object to; and that is, every now and then to be completely idle - to do nothing at all.
Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845)

:: Facebook is the biggest time-waster ever. Following the minute details of the lives of many almost strangers takes a suprising amount of time that I should be using for something more productive.

Wisdom is not finally tested in the schools, Wisdom cannot be pass'd from one having it to another not having it, Wisdom is of the soul, is not susceptible of proof, is its own proof.
Walt Whitman (1819 - 1892)

:: I feel that the world can be best served by distributing free coffee and pumpkin bread to everyone on campus, every day. I am pretty positive that this will generate world peace.

A learned man is an idler who kills time with study. Beware of his false knowledge: it is more dangerous than ignorance.
George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

:: I have not yet fallen down the stairs. That means I'm still due. Fuck. Those of you who attended my much-publicized speech on stairs know what I'm talking about. For the rest of you: I'm clumsy, and tend to fall down the stairs with upsetting frequency. Yay for being uncoordinated.

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

:: I do not want to see a book for another month. What I really don't want to see is another bin of books, so all ye bastards just writing your term papers now and turning your books in all at once, I hope you are doomed to a hell of repetitive scanning for the rest of eternity, 'cause I certainly am and some company would be nice.

:: Snowball fighting should be my final exam. It's more fun than astronomy anyways.

Monty Python's usual schoolboy humour is here let loose on a period of history appropriately familiar to every schoolboy in the West, and a faith which could be shaken by such good-humoured ribaldry would be a very precarious faith indeed.
The British Board Of Film Censors, in their report on _Life of Brian_

:: The library is sending me hate mail. I guess I should bring my books back.

My schoolmates would make love to anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.
Emo Philips

:: Did you know that pumpkin + oatmeal = yummy? Most people don't. Sshhh, don't tell, it's a secret.

:: The phrase "your mother" (or "your fax machine" if you're a certain someone) can be applied to any phrase for instant hilarity. "It's cold outside," becomes "your mother's cold outside". It's even funnier when it makes no conceivable sense. For a sexual reference, "your mother" may be replaced with "in your pants". I feel like I'm in middle school again.

:: "I should've went" is not English. Just so you know.

Anybody who accepts mediocrity - in school, on the job, in life - is a person who compromises, and when the leader compromises, the whole organization compromises.
Charles Knight

:: Soymilk should become mandatory.

:: You know what's funny? Seeing how many people get stuck in the revolving doors. It really isn't big enough for two, so if you are unfortunate enough to be exiting à deux, one person ends up hopping awkwardly along, smashed up against their companion, and if you don't both move at the exact same speed, you get stuck and have to sort it out with whomever is in the other sections of the door to get the thing moving again. Reminds me of when I was in London a few years back, visiting my cousin and was too lazy to carry my suitcase up one flight of stairs, so I took the lift (that's an elevator, for those of you unfamiliar with british). It was one of those old lifts where you have a gate to slide closed, and I opened the gate as it arrived at my floor--just a fraction of a second too soon, and the lift stopped. The outside door wouldn't open because I wasn't *exactly* at my floor, and the lift wouldn't proceed the last centimeter to my floor. We tried to get the super, or neighbours (that's neighbors, for those of you unfamiliar with british), or anyone who could unstick the lift.... and ended up calling the fire department, who kept shouting "don't panic" and "we'll get you out! Stay calm!"--despite the fact that I was perfectly calm and was having a small nap on top of said suitcase--in at me while one of them climbed up to the attic and winched the lift up another half inch. Yay for rescue.

:: I like quotes. Have you noticed?